Bridgeport

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Written by Priscilla Wong

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Things got serious too fast with my beautiful Parvati bride.

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We dated for only a year before we decided to elope. She was so special to me. I proposed right away. She was beautiful and that's all I ever wanted in a woman. She never spoke. It was the most delicate thing. We had so many lovely days together. Days of wonderment. Days led to weeks. Weeks led to months and months led to my sincerest heartbreak.

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She stole my heart and broke it when she finally spoke.

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Do you know what she said? Go on, guess.

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"You don't care about me anymore."

 

I honestly prefer a silent wife. I thought that flowers and chocolate would do the trick. Still she was unhappy. This I said, "Ok, correct me if I am wrong, but the romance part - that comes before the wedding. We are already married. Now we stay married."

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Could you believe what happened next?

 

Parvati cried. She sobbed and though she was still beautiful, I really wanted nothing to do with sadness.

 

Great. Now she's mad.

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Just a few days ago, she threatened to divorce. I cannot believe this woman. She already took sex away. And so of course, a man has his ways. What does she do? The crazy woman stalks my Instagram, to find out who I follow as if I committed a crime.

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I cannot believe that this is what I fell for. I already make all the money. It's never good enough for her.

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I said "No. This is enough."

 

How often does a woman need to be upset?

 

My god.

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You wouldn't believe what I caught my Parvati doing just yesterday. She had the nerve to relieve herself next to me on the couch. Unbelievable. I thought she was made for my pleasure alone. But no. As it turns out, women have needs. I said. "What? Are you going to get sick on me. now? Will my game be interrupted by an unsavory trip to the hospital?"

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"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE PREGNANT?"

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No. This is not what I signed up for.

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"Are you Parvati or Fart - fati?"

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"I SAID ARE YOU FART - FATI?