Ma Ween

Written by Priscilla Wong

This is a story about Ma Ween - ween ween ween ween ween ween.

The rules of fair trade ought to be established first.

1. All parties profit.

2. Truce and ceasefire.

3. No foul play.

4. No indecent unions.

5. No wasted energy.

6. Respect. No, no, never.

The Ma Weens are Avery's worst nightmare.

Mrs. Ma Ween possesses the expression of a honey badger. Mr. Ma Ween is a coyote trapped inside a panther. Extremely sensitive. He led a Wulfpack of hunter eunuchs, whose only purpose in life is to hunt down anything precious in sight and completely drain is energy. They are...

murderers.

It's obvious why. Avery in particular must never trust a eunuch. Hunter eunuchs may confuse her as kin - and proceed to rob her in proper Socialist fashion. More than rob.

Rape and pillage.

They'd prefer it if she were to be a lesbian. They like freaks and imperfect beings just like themselves. Eunuchs are only interested in material gain. Mrs. Ma Ween might be a closeted Marion to have married the King of Eunuchs. Or at least, she thinks she is. And that's what makes her,

a psychopath.

She's who Avery may have become, had she married the first man who ever proposed to her. Sparkling green eyes, not blue. Brunette, not blonde. NASA man. Whiskey, no Marlboro. He'll take the filet mignon, and maybe the ribeye too. He tried the wagyu beef, the Omakase and the bimbambo - no. American all the way. Lobster mash, then bone marrow - a light soup, then Merlot. Later, firecrackers and jello shots for the entire party. Let there be light. When he spoke, everyone cheered for McCharm. Some have it, some don't. Some love it. McLove. It just so happens, that Mrs. Ma Ween's husband is a perfect doppelgänger for the man he used to be. There's a simple explanation behind their vices. He buttered the biscuit as a notorious squirrel trapper and suppose Avery left him. He was good to her, and later in life, she met her punishment as a McTeen.

Mr. Ma Ween indulged in notions of karma. His hunter eunuchs - they'll go until their batteries run out.

Hunters don't quit.

A bad deal was struck between himself and the Communists. The secret police were involved. Poor thing. Sandbaggery for her, Avery knew. Why else would someone be desperate enough to squint just to strike out in China? "I did it for the lobby, I mean the baby. Mine, of course." Mr. Ma Ween would screw a Chinese gentleman over, in order to swindle an Avery. Someone always gets the short end of the stick. Mr. and Mrs. Ma Ween are star addicts. No human time wasted in a business deal gone awry. Ever the wolf in sheep's fleece, Mrs. Ma Ween may have been the one to pull the strings. As Avery stocked the shelves in aisle 4, reflecting upon her grievances, the Ma Weens made preparations to throw the biggest dance party to celebrate robbing her on Fascination Street, between warring continents over Socialist pride.

Alarming.

After tidying up in aisle 5, she discarded the plants from her Garden Era onto the hill of dead things in the dumpster. The dying flowers seemed comparable the dead models and influencers within the social media stratosphere. Poppies, petunias, orchids, daffodils, peonies, chrysanthemums and roses. One of those flowers might be Avery. Unless a faceless child steals her look and gains,

47.3 million followers

on Instagram pretending to be Avery mixed with a few other famous women. More imitation.

Dior Beauty

Barbie

Nimona

A*********

K*********

T*********

G*********

K*********

Bad Fairies

Kpop Demon Hunters

Turning Red

Inside Out 2

Elemental

Ruby Gillman

How to Cook Children

Bad Guys

Bad Guys 2

Bad Guys 3

Bad Guys 4

Puss in Boots : The Last Wish

Donkey

Shrek 5

"I'd choose Kpop over a train wreck." Who wouldn't? And if Mr. Ma Ween could choose a Kpop star over a mongoose or a piglet, why not someone even more delightful? He had no idea that Avery could help him go viral. Going viral has earned the reputation of being more valuable than actual profits. The facts will leave a prospector downhearted.

The King of Eunuchs needs to learn boundaries. Though if he did, he wouldn't be a conqueror.

At the very least, Mrs. Ma Ween was perfectly boring. He'd chosen wisely for a full belly every night, at the expense of irregularity. He'd no idea that Avery was well educated or how her ideas must have been Proven Winners - otherwise she wouldn't have gotten far in life. He presumed erroneously, every Chinese woman is abrasive, deeply moronic, unkempt and illiterate - not unlike his loyal hunters, or loving wife. The quiet ones are decent. While Mr. Ma Ween swindled his way through China, Avery made her mark in America for being flippant with a little thing called bootstraps. Mr. Ma Ween declared death to Madonna and all her followers. He'd say, "Toad face." No one beautiful would ever need bootstraps. Every person in China knows they're ugly. Only toads with bleached blonde hair wear emperor's robes. Will you look at the sorry state of runways in Vogue China? Not a single Chinese person will allow themselves to be like Avery - although they may copy her on the sly to see if they can win more affection.

Liars.

The King of Eunuchs could shatter all of Avery's things for her poor lizardly bootstraps.

Only the Blacks would dare to dream bigger - ahem, Martin Luther. Avery worked tirelessly to shed her toadish upbringing to the chagrin of many. She wasn't supposed to be literate or creative. Not even a looker. According to some, if certain ethnic groups can produce genetic whores, natural Asian women are only allowed to be talented and ugly. She's supposed to be as dull as Mrs. Ma Ween, and with greater Avery influence, the honey badger woman could hope to be more exotic. He'd wag his finger to express his displeasure. Mrs. Ma Ween occasionally bore the resemblance of a worm. He preferred her that way. No cosmetics, camera filters or funny captions to hide her naked sins. No deception. Simple men are easy to govern and simpler women are even easier to deceive.

At some point in his life, he must have read a magical fortune cookie :

Follow worms for opportunities.

It didn't lie.

Marry a worm. Let it bear half worm offspring.

Now it says,

Former worms don't have much to offer.

The fortune cookie didn't provide an instruction manual for viral success. But Avery did - for that fabulous Kpop dance party Mr. Ma Ween threw for his goons, while Avery pushed a shopping cart in an apron. Except he told her it was for the Chinese.

Wrong ethnic group, Avery. Sorry - you die. Lol, no seriously, stay dead. She should NOT be allowed to emasculate the King of Eunuchs. What kind of Evil Sorcerer trained her up as a hermaphrodite? Which horrendous Wendigo taught her how to defy him? For crying out loud, what is a Black God Mother to a Chinese girl? Where is her pedigree - in China - with those people he swindled? WHY is her academia considered to be more relevant than his? And since WHEN was she religious?

Mr. Ma Ween can barely tell the difference between a toad and a goat. That's how the swindling happened. She believed his cracked lies and he robbed her for doing the right thing. And by doing the right thing, Avery robbed him too - by donating a generous offering to,

the Dalai Lama.

The King of Eunuch's good servant, the aquiline Iago whispered all too often,

"Let's hire this Chinese so we can fire her to show her what a loser she really is. We'll steal trade secrets."

Ma Ween kept Iago away from Avery.

"Don't embarrass me."

He spoke with a well meaning hush. Clearly, they didn't agree with the Clinton or Obama administration. If the aquiline was meant to succeed in

the USA,

he'd have success. Instead, he wore envy on his sleeve and carried begrudgery in his pocket like loose change. The only success he ever felt was swindled from Avery.

Transgressive.

All good things come to an end. Mr. Ma Ween had no idea how Sports and Fashion Entertainment dominated Kpop, or how power attorneys generally sound more convincing than the King. Although the average power attorney may check the data to confirm how Kpop is a global phenomenon with a significantly larger overall audience and cultural footprint than any individual actress. The idea that any honey worm or badger can transform into a plastic idol is feverishly addictive.

Miracles. Kings walk on water.

Mr. Ma Ween's vanity made him a sourpuss in Hollywood. With his face, he should have been,

James Dean.

Instead, he chose her. In fact, the greater the worm, the greater his investments. A Communist worm's favorite character trait is suffering the Cold War nobly, by surviving only on Spam. Avery also happened to be a tin can entrepreneur. With $9.5 billion invested in real estate, one Harvard Korean had goons in each major nation to conquer all of Asia.

If Avery could ever turn the head of,

James Dean,

it's only to achieve the sort of fame that requires her assets. A natural employer.

He'd have nothing without Kpop.

After Hollywood brainwashed Avery, she'd have nothing without her selfie infused content. Showing off her fabulous Orange Builders - Can - Do - It! Hollywood apron, the former American Gladiator star greeted her with lamentation for the red carpet - his glory days.

"You remind me of Pamela Anderson."

He reminded Avery of how annoying it is when Kpop imitates Childish Gambino. When The Pink Lady visited, she greeted her with hugs and kisses like a fellow showgirl. She vanished with perfect pink tulips. An Indian customer felt simply happy to be treated well in the store. A Chinese German insisted, an Avery must be Korean. Plastic beauty. He left uncorrected.

"Hey now, there's something special about you."

A Southeast Agrarian spoke to her in harsher tones amidst an argument with his deaf wife over speakerphone. This is exactly the type of foreigner that Ma Ween,

James Dean

associated her with. This person reeked of body odor. Foul. Demeaning. Menial. Someone felt it was right to show off his six pack after Muay Thai kickboxing class and gun collection to no avail. He wanted an ardour affair. She said no in a roundabout way. She received free cookies, energy bars and none of it, poisoned or laced. She paid too. Avery counted her blessings. It was an easy job. Her associates support the regime and it was perfectly fine for white collar to make room for blue collar. Working at McDonald's can now be a sought after position. Driving for UberEats is the perfect side hustle, as the cryptocurrency market crashed and tumbled during odd hours. Are we in China? She smiled politely for their joy. Healthcare is reserved only for seniority, or the savvy. Yellow crooked teeth and amputated fingers and bad hair all around. There's a jolly good take down. Kpop would trade fake ids - post plastic surgery transformation - for the very real and precarious American identity. Children don't know any better and their parents don't care. These are ones the Ma Weens idolize for pure stamina. Their idea of government rests in the notion that every person should be equally employable and disposable.

Blue collar is where Avery learned a few things about Baelor. That's where she discovered how the surnames of her frenemies undressed the shelves of the cleaning aisle on 6. The same names as harmful chemicals, rat poison and pesticides. Suppose that every line of ancestry once had no choice but to earn their keep as an upstart, either hauling trash, sewage or manufacturing brooms. The forgotten and unseen - the trucker, mechanic, plumber and janitor.

A generous slice of humble pie.

At this point, the Ma Weens and KingSingers are total opposites. To ensure that he would never go forgotten or unseen, Mr. Ma Ween, King of Eunuchs knew his only chance was to incite catastrophic scandal that could,

outshine even the Japanese.

Avery's only lifeline is to dial for spiritual dexterity in order to escape their greed. Not just any kind of greed though - the insidious greed of eunuchs. A vast toast for democracy to all the Bangs, Kangs, Dongs, Nashis, Motos, Wangs, Wins and Woons. Friendship and socialism to all the ladies with schlongs and other gender curiosities. Fairer skin for the lesser Lees, Zhes, Chans, Huangs, Zhangs and Cheungs, those who found their haven in oil wells and plastic surgery. All the silks and cosmetics on this planet will never alter their genes. Don't tell them - it'd break their gigabyte hearts - no - terabyte. The mark of superiority. Or isn't it the B200and NVIDIA chip? Lesser vaginas have no place in life knowing such things. The party's over now and the Ma Weens need to throw another. With families to feed, they'd wish to rob Avery for their crazy, rich Asian tribunal.

The Age of Enlightenment did not occur in Communist territory.

What could be more catastrophic than Pearl Harbor, Ma Ween - ween, ween, ween, ween, ween, ween?

Cardinal Sin.

"Thank god, she's not White." No green ogre village would ever submit to the Infanta Lizardess.